ONE FLESH :
Matthew 19:5 "And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?"
What does it mean for a man and a woman to become "one flesh?" The act of sexual intercourse between a man and a woman produces this one flesh relationship. Whether or not the man and woman ever cleave to each other in marriage; the physical act still binds them together as one flesh.
This is the reason that sexual relationships outside of marriage (whether extra-marital or pre-marital) are so damaging. Whether or not individuals get caught, pregnant or ever hurt anyone else with their sin, they are doing a lot of damage to themselves. There is a relationship that takes place through the sexual act that makes us one with that person. There is no such thing as just a "night on the town" or a "one night stand" and that's all there is to it. Alcoholism, child abuse, hatred, and a thousand other things that are certainly wrong, are not grounds for divorce but fornication is. That shows that there is something very powerful that takes place in the physical act and explains why Satan has exploited this area so much.
Becoming one flesh with someone (sexual intercourse) is not marriage. Marriage includes, but is even beyond, becoming one flesh. This can be seen very clearly in John 4:17-18. Jesus said the woman He was speaking to at Jacob's well had five prior husbands and the man she was currently living with was not her husband. It is certain that this woman was having sexual relations with the man she was living with but that didn't make him her husband. Marriage involves more than sexual relations. It is a covenant or commitment between a man and a woman that corresponds to the cleaving to each other that Jesus spoke of here.
DIVORCE IS NOT GOD'S BEST :
Mark 10:2 "And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him."
The Pharisees didn't really want to know what Jesus taught on divorce and remarriage. They didn't value His opinion but were tempting Him and desired to get Him mired in the big dispute of their day between liberal and conservative views on divorce. This was a very emotional issue then, just as it is today, and they thought they had Jesus in a "no win" situation.
However, as always, Jesus proved to be more than their match and He gave them much more than they asked for.
The Pharisees didn't question whether or not divorce was right. They took the right to divorce for granted. But Jesus, instead of expounding on acceptable grounds for divorce, went to the very root of the problem and showed that God never intended there to be any divorce at all. If they really understood the extent of the one flesh covenant between a man and his wife, they would not be looking for an excuse to get out of marriage. This approach amazed the Pharisees and brough forth the question "why did Moses in the law make provision for divorce?"
Once a person begins to question, "How can I get a divorce?" instead of, "How can I keep this marriage together?" indicates, that there is already a serious breach in the marriage, that Jesus calls a hardened heart.
Jesus answered that divorce was permitted but never intended. God allowed something that He hated because of the hardness of people's hearts. This was also true of polygamy and slavery. Jesus came to remove our stony heart and give us a heart of flesh so that we could walk in God's best for us.
MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT :
Matthew 19:9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."
Although adultery denotes one who has unlawful intercourse with the spouse of another, in its much broader term, it means to violate or pollute. Israel violated or polluted their covenant with God. Jeremiah says, "She (Judah) defiled the land, and committed adultery" (Jer. 3:9).
Adultery in relation to marriage also reflects a violation of the covenant of companionship. Sex outside of marriage is adultery because it violates or pollutes the covenant of marriage by introducing another party and bringing that relationship into the marriage. "They two shall be one flesh" (Eph. 5:31).
Divorce also adulterates or pollutes marriage because it disrupts or denies the divorced parties the right to be faithful to their covenant of companionship. Any time one divorces his mate (except for fornication) and marries another, he is guilty of adultery. He has polluted and destroyed a relationship intended by God to be permanent and pure.
Why the "except for fornication" clause? Jesus is not saying that if fornication is involved, we must divorce, but rather, when fornication is involved, that is the only time when the person getting the divorce is not guilty of adultery. That is because the partner who had an extra-marital relationship has already polluted the marriage vow. In God's original design for marriage He intended marriage to be sacred, precious, pure, and permanent. The marriage covenant represents a final, irrevocable commitment where the man and the woman renounce the right to live for themselves and become "heirs together of the grace of life" (1 Pet. 3:7).
MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT :
Matthew 19:9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."
Although adultery denotes one who has unlawful intercourse with the spouse of another, in its much broader term, it means to violate or pollute. Israel violated or polluted their covenant with God. Jeremiah says, "She (Judah) defiled the land, and committed adultery" (Jer. 3:9).
Adultery in relation to marriage also reflects a violation of the covenant of companionship. Sex outside of marriage is adultery because it violates or pollutes the covenant of marriage by introducing another party and bringing that relationship into the marriage. "They two shall be one flesh" (Eph. 5:31).
Divorce also adulterates or pollutes marriage because it disrupts or denies the divorced parties the right to be faithful to their covenant of companionship. Any time one divorces his mate (except for fornication) and marries another, he is guilty of adultery. He has polluted and destroyed a relationship intended by God to be permanent and pure.
Why the "except for fornication" clause? Jesus is not saying that if fornication is involved, we must divorce, but rather, when fornication is involved, that is the only time when the person getting the divorce is not guilty of adultery. That is because the partner who had an extra-marital relationship has already polluted the marriage vow. In God's original design for marriage He intended marriage to be sacred, precious, pure, and permanent. The marriage covenant represents a final, irrevocable commitment where the man and the woman renounce the right to live for themselves and become "heirs together of the grace of life" (1 Pet. 3:7).
Hi Walter:
All that you have said is true. However, there is more which is often overlooked by people. When a person repents for their sins, including sexual immorality, and receives the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, he/she are are “cleansed of all unrighteousness” (1 Jn. 1: 9). Paul reminds us, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation behold old has passed away, the new has come” (2 Cor. 5: 17). This means that the person has become a “virgin” again. They have left the past behind and they have been “justified” which means that he or she are treated by God and fellows believers just as if they had never sinned. They must leave their past sin behind them and when they do so, there will be no more embarrassment or guilt.
The Greek word for “new” means “pertaining to that which is recent in contrast to something old” “in the sense that what is old has become obsolete, and should be replaced with what is new.” In this case it means that a “new creature” or “new person” has replaced the “old person”. It also means that whenever such people remember past sin, it is not to make them feel guilty or condemned, the memory is a reminder to say, “Thank You, Jesus, for forgiving me!” Whenever people who have been forgiven for their past, including sexual sins, they are set free from condemnation from God, other people and themselves. They have been replaced with a “new self”.
This is also the word for “New Testament” which has replaced the “Old Testament” (Zech. 14: 7 – 14; Lk. 1: 16; Heb. 8: 6 – 7, 13). Too many people want to hold on the the Old Testament because they want what they call justice and they like the penalties and curses that were the penalties for sinning. With Jesus, we receive mercy which offers us a new kind of love (agape) that no longer “keeps a record of wrongs (evils)” (1 Cor. 13: 5). If we ask God for justice, we would all be condemned to hell (Rm. 3: 23; 5: 12). The world was condemned already. Jesus came to save the world (Jn.3: 17).
In Rev. 14: 3 - 4, we are told of the 144,000 virgins , “which were redeemed from the earth. These are they which were not defiled by women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb wheresoever he goeth. These were redeemed from all men,being the first fruits unto God and to the Lamb. And in their mouth was found no guile; for they are without fault before the throne of God.” Now the “virgins” are those who were “redeemed”, in other words they were saved by Jesus Christ and their sexual sin had been forgiven and they were “redeemed” which means they had become “new creations” and had been faithful to Jesus Christ.
It is interesting because this is the same 144,000 referred to in Rev. 7: 4 and which is Hebrew number for the total of all those who are to be saved but when transferred into non-Jewish terms it equals the total number to be “a great multitude, which no man could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands” (Rev. 4: 9). The redeemed have their spiritual and physical virginity renewed which means both their faithfulness to God through Jesus Christ and have received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Their spiritual and physical virginity which has been restored is proven by the fact that they “do not conform to the world (Rom. 12: 1 – 2) but are transformed by using their “Gifts of the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 12: 6 – 8; 1 Cor. 12: 8 – 10) because we are now doing “spiritual worship”.
Isn’t this exciting?
Gordon
WALTER KAMBULOW
FACEBOOK: WALT KAM
Gordon Williams http://gordwilliams.com/
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